Feeling uncomfortable when taking meds

So currently I'm on medication called zyprexa. In the past I had taken this medication, and out of fear of the weight gain, I eventually dropped it, which was a bad idea in itself since I further accumulated relationships to suppress anger through excessive exercise and dieting, as well as other relationships. Within this, I see that there are other options of medication that I can try to prevent health risks like diabetes, but initially I require working with this medication, and utilizing my relationships that come up within what I feel with the medication, to prevent schizophrenic episodes that only create post traumatic stress, which can really fuck me over, so now I humble myself with the realization to never mess around with dropping medications, or with reveling against psychiatric support. Within this, I see and realize that from now on, I must remain medicated for a long term, until I have completely utilized myself in relationships, and reconstruct a plan to prepare myself when I choose to try winging off the medication, which within this I will require experimenting with eventually to see what happens with my mind after enough trials with doing this, but eventually winging off for good.